Pregnancy Loss: Processing the Pain of Miscarriage
The following are some things to keep in mind when dealing with miscarriage pain. You may need to learn them all at once or over time if you have experienced miscarriage pain before. If you want to get started right away, here’s a list of things to consider:
1) Do not cry out for help!
Crying out for help will only make it worse. Instead, try to remain calm and focused. Try to think about your feelings and emotions rather than the situation itself. Your body is going through a natural process that you cannot control.
Focus on being strong instead of worrying about other people’s reactions.
2) Find someone close to you who understands what you’re feeling.
A good place to start would be your partner or family member who is willing to listen without judgment or sympathy (and maybe even sympathize).
3) Be honest with yourself.
Are you upset because you feel like something bad happened? Or are you upset because you feel like there was no reason for it?
Either way, it’s okay to be sad or angry. Sometimes these emotions are normal. Other times they’re signs that something is wrong. When in doubt, take care of yourself first and then worry about others later.
4) Remember that your feelings don’t necessarily mean anything to anyone else except yourself.
It’s okay to cry or be sad or angry. It’s also okay to laugh and smile again whenever you feel like it. Either way, others will understand so long as they know what’s going on with you.
5) Remember that your body is going through a lot of changes right now that are affecting your mood.
For many women, the sadness or happiness that comes after a miscarriage lasts much longer than the physical recovery. This will eventually pass with time.
6) You may need support after a miscarriage, especially if it’s your first.
Fortunately, there are many people out there who understand or have been through it before. Surround yourself with those who you feel comfortable with and seek help whenever you need it.
7) If your religious beliefs are important to you, do not be afraid to lean on them for comfort.
Sources & references used in this article:
The experience of miscarriage in first pregnancy: the women’s voices by P Gerber-Epstein, RD Leichtentritt, Y Benyamini – Death studies, 2008 – Taylor & Francis
Helping men with the trauma of miscarriage. by MS Rinehart, MS Kiselica – Psychotherapy: Theory, Research …, 2010 – psycnet.apa.org
Women’s experiences of miscarriage in early pregnancy by SS Bansen, HA Stevens – Journal of nurse-midwifery, 1992 – Elsevier
Parents’ experiences of clinical care during second trimester miscarriage by S Cullen, B Coughlan, A McMahon… – British Journal of …, 2018 – magonlinelibrary.com
Guilt and emptiness: women’s experiences of miscarriage by A Adolfsson, PG Larsson, B Wijma… – Health care for women …, 2004 – Taylor & Francis