Please Stop Using My Mental Illness to Fulfill Your Fantasy

Please stop using my mental illness to fulfill your fantasy!

You are not crazy, I am not mentally ill, it’s just that I’m too much of a romantic and want to marry you.

I don’t mean like a real marriage where we have children together or even like some sort of casual fling where one party is into the other sexually but something more than that. Something with commitment and love and respect. And you’re way out of my league!

Why?

Because I’m not going to fall for your shallow games and you’re way too much of a man hater. You think because I’m not interested in you, that means I’m not interested in anyone else either. Wrong! That’s why there are so few women like me! You’ve been brainwashed by society to hate men and see us all as potential rapists or worse.

The fact is, you’re not very good looking and I know you have a hard time getting girls. But I’m sure if you really worked at it, you could get one eventually. Maybe even one of those hot Latina chicks down at the club. They always seem to attract guys who aren’t used to dealing with rejection and they usually give them free drinks after the show!

The thing is, I think you’re too good for any of that. You don’t need to play games or lie and I know you’d rather have something real than settle for some fake club skank just because it’s easy.

That’s why I’m writing this, to prove to you that you deserve better. You don’t need games or lies. You deserve love and you should know that there is someone out there willing to give it to you.

I’m not saying we’re going on a date or anything, but if you’re ever interested in chatting sometime then just send me an e-mail or give me a call.

Don’t worry, I won’t push you into anything and I’ll leave if you want me to. I’m not going to be one of those guys who turns into a stalker or anything like that.

But think about it, a relationship with someone who REALLY understands you and all your interests. Someone who you can really relate to on a deep level.

Doesn’t that sound good?

Just promise me one thing, if we do start dating, don’t ever cheat on me!

I mean you can look at other women (so long as it’s just looking!) but you can’t go having sexual relationships with others. And I’m not promising I’ll be the most attentive boyfriend and you may very well end up doing most of the work in the relationship. But think about how proud you’ll be that you’ve bagged such a hot girlfriend!

Just think about it. If you’re really worried, then maybe you should talk to a professional about your issues with intimacy and commitment. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself!

Your friend,

Erik

Chapter 18: The Confrontation

October 15th

Well, the day has finally arrived. As you read over your letter one last time, you feel a strange sense of both fear and excitement.

Will this change your life forever? Will you finally be free from years of pent-up frustration and rage? Or will it all end today in a blaze of gunfire?

You’ve spent so much time thinking about each possible scenario that you can’t wait for it all to be over.

As the late summer heat begins to give way to a cool autumn, you prepare the house for your visit from Ashley. You straighten up and clean as best you can, even opening up windows to air out the smell of your surroundings. You make sure your gun is loaded and easily accessible, but hidden if she should happen to have any unexpected company.

Ashley has had an appointment with you for a while now. In fact, it’s been so long since you last saw her that you thought perhaps she’d given up on the visits. But no, here it is and she’s on her way.

You hear the tires rolling to a stop on your small gravel driveway. Looking out the window, you see her climb out of her car and stretch. With a backpack on to no doubt hold all of her schoolwork, she looks more like a college student than a high school senior.

As you watch her from the window, you feel your heart start to race. You will finally learn the truth today. Whatever the outcome, you have to know. With that in mind, you walk to the front door, unlock it, and step outside.

You watch as Ashley turns her gaze towards you and smiles. She waves and starts walking towards the house. When she gets close enough, you notice that she’s changed quite a bit since the last time you saw her. She’s grown at least three or four inches, which puts her right at eye level with you now.

Her chest has also developed quite nicely, much to your delight.

All in all, she’s blossomed into a beautiful young woman. The years have been very kind to her. But as she gets closer still, you notice that something seems different about her face. It’s her eyes, which hold a look of deep sadness in them, one that you don’t recall ever being there before.

“Hi Ashley,” you say as you hug her.

She hugs you back and smiles warmly. “You remembered!” she beams.

“Of course I did,” you smile back. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

A look of concern washes over her face as she notices the gun in your hand. “

Is that for me?”

she asks fearfully.

You chuckle and shake your head. “No, no, just making sure no rabbits pop out and surprise us.” You gesture towards the woods with your head. “Let’s go over there, I’ve set up a blanket and have a small picnic ready for us.” You wink at her.

“Nothing fancy, like on our last date, I’m afraid.”

She smiles again and nods. After you both get situated on the blanket, you pull the wicker basket in between you and start taking out the food.

“Smoked sausage, hard salami, cheddar, almonds, dried apricots, and some slices of homemade wheat bread,” you state, feeling pretty proud of your preparations. You’d gone to the store and bought everything earlier that week when you realized that it had been a while since you’d last visited Ashley. “I have some iced tea in that cooler over there to drink.”

She smiles and nods, but doesn’t make any move to pick anything up. You’re a little worried that you’ve lost her interest, but you decide to plow ahead anyway.

So, how have you been?”

She sighs and then looks down sadly. “Not good.”

Your heart starts beating a little faster. “Oh.

What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know where to even start,” she says, picking at the grass on the blanket.

“Try starting from the beginning.”

“Okay, well the beginning is two years ago when my father died of liver failure.”

Your heart drops into your stomach. You had heard rumors that Ashley’s father had died, but you hadn’t bothered to look into it. It was easy enough to believe, what with him being a drunk and all.

“Go on,” you say softly.

“After that just got worse,” she says, referring to her own depression.