The first thing you need to do before getting into the shower is to wash off any dirt or germs from your body. If you have a dirty towel lying around, use it instead. Wash all of your hair with soap and water until it feels clean. Then, get yourself into the shower and turn on the hot water setting so that it reaches your neck and shoulders. Once in there, start rinsing off any sweat that may still be clinging onto your skin. Don’t worry if some of it gets on your clothes; just throw those away after washing them. Next, grab a bar of soap and lather up your whole body, including your head. Be sure to rub in the direction that you feel most comfortable—your hands, feet, back, etc.—but don’t go too far because you want to make sure everything is completely clean.
Finally, take a look at what kind of shampoo you’re using: scented or unscented?
Some people like their bodies to smell nice while others prefer something less overpowering. Either way, make sure you’re using one that doesn’t contain alcohol! Now that you’ve got everything washed, it’s time to put on some deodorant. I recommend Body Shop’s Deodorizer because it smells really good and leaves my skin feeling fresh and moisturized.
After you’re completely finished with the washing process, it’s now safe to take a shower. Play around with different settings until you find one that’s comfortable for you. Add some body wash onto your loofah and start scrubbing your body, including your groin area, although you may want to avoid your genitals for now since they can be a bit more sensitive. After that, turn off the shower head and begin to rinse everything off. Make sure to do this very thoroughly since you don’t want to have any traces of soap on your skin when you start shaving your groin.
While you’re rinsing everything off, be sure to use a clean towel (or another one of your dirty towels) to pat the water off of your skin.
While you’re toweling off, take a look at your body to see if there are any spots you may have missed while washing.
Are there still any sticky spots on your skin?
If so, you’ll need to go back and wash those areas until everything is nice and clean. Once you’re finished, you can start shaving everything but your groin (which should be done while your pubic hair is still wet).
Now, it’s time for the actual shaving part. Take your lathered up razor to the area that you want to shave and gently start dragging it across your skin. Do this in long strokes and make sure to keep your skin tight as to not cut or injure yourself. You may want to take a break every now and then because shaving can get tiring, but try to do as much as you can since the longer you shave, the less chance there is of getting any cuts or irritation. After you’re finished shaving everything, take a look in the mirror at all of the spots you may have missed.
If you see any, go ahead and shave them off. Also, be sure to wash your razor off in warm water to get rid of all of the hairs stuck to it.
After everything is done, take a look at your groin.
Does it look weird?
I used to get kind of self-conscious because it looked weird, but now I don’t really care. If you’re satisfied with what you see in front of you, then everything is good. If not, then you may want to try again later when you’re not so tired as shaving can be a little time-consuming. Also, if your skin is starting to get irritated or reddened, take a break for a while and let it recover.
Once you’re done, take a shower (without washing off your shaving cream!) and go to bed. You’ve been through a lot and so has your skin. Keep everything clean in the morning as best you can (you may want to bring some extra clothes to school) and make sure you put on fresh underwear since the ones you have on are probably pretty damp at this point.
If you followed everything in this guide, then congratulations! You’ve shaved your pubic hair and survived unscathed. If you’re like most people, then you should notice a positive change in your life. Some of these changes you may notice immediately, while others may be more subtle. Here are a few of the things that you might experience after getting rid of the carpet…
You no longer have to worry about hiding your groin when visiting the doctor.
You can wear whatever style underwear you want now (or go commando if you want).
Your new-found confidence in having the carpets removed will certainly improve other aspects of your life.
Your significant other may or may not notice a difference (some people are more observant than others), but you will definitely be a better kisser now.
You may want to consider shaving off the hair on your sack and your butt at some point in the future, but this is completely up to you. I’m just giving you suggestions based on my personal experiences.
Good luck and congratulations again! You’ve overcome a serious obstacle in your life.
This post is dedicated to my good friend Tucker, who shaved his own carpets (along with his sack and butt hair) the day before he turned sixteen. He survived his ordeal and became a better person from it. I hope this post makes his sacrifice worth it.
Here are some inspirational words from Tucker himself that I want to share with you:
I am alive and better off because of a man who took the time out to write a helpful guide on how to shave your junk. This man is a hero and should be treated as such. His writing has brought hope to the hopeless and pleasure to those who need it most. Let us all rejoice on this glorious day, for finally our prayers have been answered. Long live the guide on how to shave your junk!
Long live the man who wrote the guide on how to shave your junk!
Shave hard, my friends.
Sources & references used in this article:
Moving (in) the heterosexual matrix. On heteronormativity in secondary school physical education by J Ortberg – 2005 – Zondervan
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. by H Larsson, K Redelius, B Fagrell – Physical education and sport …, 2011 – Taylor & Francis
Core performance: the revolutionary workout program to transform your body and your life by S Krug – 2000 – Pearson Education India