How to Rebuild Trust After a Betrayal

Rebuilding Trust After A Betrayal: What You Need To Know About How To Fix A Relationship

1)

How do I repair my relationship?

The first step is to realize that there are two types of relationships: those where one party lies and those where both parties lie. If you have been betrayed by your partner, then it means that they have lied to you. When you have been deceived or cheated upon, then it means that they too have lied to you. There is no way out of such a situation except to forgive them and move on. However, if you have been betrayed by someone else, then you need to take care of yourself before you can make any progress in repairing your relationship.

2)

What does it mean when someone says “I love you”?

When someone says “I love you”, what they really mean is “You’re not me.” They are saying that you aren’t like them, because they don’t feel the same way about their partner.

So, if you truly love someone, then why would you betray them?

That’s why people say things like “I’m sorry” or “It was just a misunderstanding”. But these words are meaningless; they mean nothing. Saying something like that doesn’t even mend anything!

Why not?

Because the person who said it isn’t sincere. They’re only saying it because they feel guilty about what they did!

3)

Why would you even want to forgive someone?

Forgiving someone isn’t easy. You can’t just wave a magic wand and make everything better. If someone has betrayed your trust, then there’s no going back to the way things were. Of course, if you know that you still love this person, then perhaps you should forgive them and try to move on with the relationship. But you shouldn’t do this just to keep them in your life, because if they betray you again then it will only be worse than the first time.

4)

What are some signs that someone is lying to you?

When someone lies to you, there are some signs that you can look for to realize when something isn’t right. For example, if someone is constantly looking away from you or blinking a lot, then it means that they aren’t telling the truth. Liars tend to not make eye contact because they’re afraid that you’ll catch them in a lie. They might also scratch their neck or play with their fingers. These signs don’t mean that someone is lying for sure, but they are usually a good indication that something isn’t right.

5)

How can I be sure that my partner isn’t cheating on me?

One of the best ways to catch a cheater is through technology. If you have access to their cell phone or computer, then try to check their messages or emails. Just make sure you’re good at covering your tracks, because if you get caught then it’s only going to make things worse! You could also put a GPS tracker on their car. That way, you’ll always know where they are.

6)

What are some signs that someone is cheating on you?

If you’re having suspicions that your partner is cheating on you, then there are some things that you can look for to help confirm your theory. The first thing I would do is look through their text messages and emails. You might be surprised by what you find. If you don’t have access to their phone or computer, then install a GPS tracker on their car and see where they’re going when they leave the house.

7)

Why is it so easy for people to get away with cheating nowadays?

In this day and age, it’s a lot easier than ever before to have an affair. With the internet, you can easily look for people that share your interests. You could also go on Craigslist or online dating sites and meet people in person. In some cases, people don’t even leave their homes to meet people; they instead turn to online roleplaying games where they create alternate characters. Sometimes these online relationships can turn sexual, or they can just be an emotional affair.

8)

How would you describe the act of cheating?

Cheating is when you experience attraction for someone other than your partner. You start having feelings for this other person, which causes you to want to spend more time with them. Eventually, you’re spending so much time that you don’t have time for your partner anymore, and your partner begins to feel like they’re being neglected. The relationship starts to break down from there, and before you know it you’re in a full blown affair.

9)

What is the best way to move on from a broken relationship?

The best way to get over a broken relationship is to distract yourself with other activities. Go out with your friends, play sports, go hiking, or anything that lets you take your mind off of your ex. Eventually, you’ll meet someone new and fall in love all over again. If you still find yourself struggling to move on, you should consider seeking professional help. There are a lot of great therapists out there that can help.

10)

What is the best way to prevent cheating?

The best way to prevent cheating is open and honest communication with your partner. If there are any problems in your relationship, you should try to address them as soon as possible before they become bigger issues. It also helps to spend time with each other and do things that you both enjoy. Think of it as quality time, rather than just being physically present.

11)

What should you do if your partner cheats on you?

If your partner cheats on you, then there’s a chance they may do it again in the future. There’s also a good chance you won’t be able to fix your relationship.

So what should you do?

If your relationship is worth saving, then I advise you to speak with them about what they did and how their actions affected you. Hopefully, they’ll realize the gravity of their mistake and change their behavior. Don’t expect them to instantly become a better person though. Real change takes time.

On the other hand, if you decide that your relationship is beyond saving, then I suggest that you start putting yourself first. You deserve someone who prioritizes your needs and makes you feel good about yourself. If your partner can’t do that, then it’s time to move on.

12)

Do people ever date their cheating partners?

In some cases, people can get past the betrayal of a cheating partner. However, this is a very complicated process that takes a lot of work on both sides.

The main thing is to ensure that the cheater doesn’t have any more interest in their affair partner. The relationship won’t work out if they maintain any sort of attraction to their affair partner. So, make sure to discuss this with them at length.

Next, you’ll have to discuss the issue of trust. If they cheated on you once, then they’ll probably do it again given the chance. So, you’ll have to implement certain rules in your relationship to ensure that infidelity doesn’t happen again. These rules could be as simple as not going out without the other person or as extreme as not talking to members of the opposite gender.

Another major issue is going to be the children if you have any. The cheating partner will most likely be less involved in child rearing, since they’ve already shown disregard for their parental responsibilities. This means that you’ll have to take up the slack and be more involved in raising them.

It’ll also be difficult to trust them in general. You’ll probably feel like they’re cheating on you again when they’re out with their friends or going off to do their own thing. You have to learn to deal with this however, because it’ll always be a lingering suspicion at the back of your mind.

In some cases, the couple just can’t get past the infidelity and go their separate ways. This is especially true if the partner who was cheated on tries to address all the issues I just mentioned. It’s a very trying time for everyone involved, so do try your best!

If you’ve managed to successfully move past an affair in your relationship, then that just means you had enough love for each other to make it work. However, before you go feeling like you’ve conquered true love or something, I’d advise against trying to copy that in the future. Affairs are just a horrible idea to begin with.

13) I’m in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way back.

What should I do?

Well, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush. It’s something that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. Just know that it is a “crush” and not love. There’s a reason why they don’t feel the same way and dwelling on it is only going to hurt you.

If you truly can’t get over the person, then I’d advise against staying in the same city or state. You need to get away and start fresh somewhere else. Living in the same area only makes it harder since you’re always going to be running into them. I realize that this is easier said than done, but sometimes we have to face the difficulty of change in order to move on with our lives.

Also, remember that it’s time to grow up! You can’t afford to be acting like a lovesick schoolgirl anymore. Get out there, have fun, and enjoy your life. You only get one life, you know!

14)

Why is it so hard to find someone to spend the rest of my life with?

There are a lot of factors that go into successful relationships today. For one, people are more independent than they used to be. This is a double-edged sword since it gives people the freedom to pursue their own interests, but also makes it difficult for them to come together for the sake of forming a family.

I remember when I was growing up, all of us kids on the block were always playing together. There were always at least a half dozen kids that were over at my house every day. We all took turns hosting kickball games and hide-and-go-seek. I remember being at someone else’s house nearly every day after school.

This might sound a little old fashion to you, but I think that kids (both boys and girls) should have a set time that they’re expected to be home after school. It gives them some structure in their lives and also lets them know that their parents are firmly in control of certain things. If kids know what the expectations are then they’re less likely to push the limits. It’s only when they’re given too much freedom that they become misguided and misbehave.

You can’t let them walk all over you just because you don’t want to be seen as the mean mom or dad.

Also, when I was a kid, all of the kids used to play with each other regardless of whether they were a boy or a girl. We didn’t have the same type of gender segregation that you see today. Boys would play with girls and girls would play with boys. It wasn’t a big deal to us.

Nowadays, it’s like kids are growing up so fast that they don’t know how to socialize with the opposite gender without romantic feelings being involved. This is probably due to a lot of factors including: the media, overprotective parenting, and even social cliques.

I’m not saying that you should prevent your daughter from having her own social life, but I would keep a close eye on it. Make sure that she isn’t hanging out with boys that are a bad influence or that seem like they’re going to try to get too personal with her.

With your son, I’d keep a close eye on how he acts towards girls. Make sure to tell him that it’s not OK to be overly aggressive in his dealings with them. He should be respectful at all times and if he has questions about how to interact with girls, then he can come to you for advice.

I know it’s not as much fun to parent in this day and age, but I think that you’ll find that your children respect and listen to you a lot more if you take a firm approach with them. Of course, this is just my opinion.

15) I’m a teenager and I’m pregnant.

OK, first of all, do you know who the father is?

“Uh…I think it’s that guy I were dating. We were spending a lot of time together and he was really nice at first.”

So what has he done now?

“He left. He said that he couldn’t deal with it, so he just left. Everyone else has been really mean to me too. They keep calling me names and saying that I’m a bad person. They say I’m not fit to be around them anymore.”

Unfortunately, this is going to be a common theme for you probably for as long as you live in this town. People can be so cruel to anyone that is different from them. Unfortunately, in your case, you’re a lot easier to target because you aren’t a supernatural being that can kill them.

I’d punch them all in the throat, but that’s just me.

Anyways, I’m sure you’ve already considered this, but you probably would be better off having and raising this baby on your own. I think that it would be best if you moved as far away from this place as you can.

“I agree. That’s the only thing that I can think of that will stop everyone from bothering me.”

Well, pack what you need and we’ll get you to a bus station so you can get out of this place.

Where would you like to go?

“Um…anywhere is fine I guess. Eventually, I’m going to have to decide on a destination.”

Well, I can recommend a few places, but perhaps someone closer to you can suggest a better place. I personally know people in Holgard and I hear it’s a nice place.

“Never heard of it.”

It’s a port town west of here. It’s fairly large and contains people from many different cultures. I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard it’s a very lovely place.

“That actually sounds nice. I want to go there.”

Well, you’ll definitely need money for that.

Is there any way you can get some?

I have a job, did you want me to get you something?”

Not really. I have enough supplies for now and I steal whatever else I need.

What did you want me to get?”

I don’t know, what do you like?

“I don’t know. Um…my favorite color is blue.”

You’re joking right?

“No…”

Look I’ll figure out something for you to buy. Just let me know what you end up deciding on as far as a place to go.

So you’re leaving?

“Yeah, I don’t want to be a burden to you for too long.”

You aren’t really, I was just giving you a hard time. Besides, even I get lonely every once in awhile. It’ll be nice to have someone to talk to every once in awhile.

“Well, I can stay a little longer I guess.”

In that case, I got a list of stuff for you to get.

You spend the next few hours working and talking with your new acquaintance. After all is said and done, you feel really good about your accomplishments. You’re getting a little tired now, so you decide to call it a night.

You wake up a couple hours later when you hear your door creak open.

Hello? Nathan?”

You hear a familiar voice whisper.

Clara?”

you say while turning on a nearby lamp.

Sure enough it’s her. You’re a little confused as to why she’s here since you parted ways hours ago.

Why are you here? Is something wrong? Are you in trouble?”

You ask standing up from the bed.

She walks over to you and before you know it, she’s kissing you. It takes you by surprise, but you return it. You don’t know how to react to this though.

Clara, what’s going on? Why are you here?”

You ask again.

“I missed you. I want to be with you.” She says while hugging you tightly.

Now you’re even more confused.

“But I just left…we said our goodbyes…I don’t understand.”

“I know and I regret it. Please say you’ll forgive me and stay with me.” She says as she starts to cry a bit.

You sigh heavily. You didn’t see this coming, but you have to admit, a part of you is really happy that she came back for you.

“Clara, we said our goodbyes. I’m not going to say I’m not happy to see you, because I am. I just think we should stick to that goodbye.” You say.

She shakes her head and holds on to you even tighter.

“Please don’t leave me again. I need you…I can’t do this without you.”

“Clara, I…” You start to say before she kisses you again.

She’s making it hard for you to even think. It’s been a long time since you’ve been with someone and Clara is certainly more than willing. Plus there’s the added temptation of not having to live alone anymore.

“Clara, we can’t start off like this.

Can’t we get to know each other again before we take this step?”

You try to think of the best way to turn her down without hurting her feelings, but before you can, she speaks again.

“I know we can…we don’t need that long though. I love you and I know you love me too.

We can just say our I dos right now and pick up where we left off.” She says with a smile.

“Clara…”

“I can’t wait any longer, I need to be with you now. Marry me!”

“Wha…?”

Before you can say anything else, she pulls out a ring and puts it on your finger. It’s huge and must be several carats.

Clara, where did you get that?

That has to be expensive. And we just met yesterday.”

“I know what I’m doing, trust me.”

“But, I don’t have a ring for you.”

“You don’t need to, I trust you. I’m sure you’ll come back with one soon enough.”

Clara then kisses you and while you’re still a little hesitant, you start to get into it again. The next few hours are quite fun. A lot better than they were with Lisa the goat farmer’s daughter at least. You didn’t think that was possible.

Afterwards, you and Clara lay together in bed. You don’t know what the future holds, but you’re ready to find out with her.

When are we getting married?”

Clara asks.

Tomorrow?”

you joke.

“Well if we’re doing it like that, I guess we can get a quick wedding today and a party tomorrow.”

“That sounds good to me.” You laugh.

The pair of you get dressed and head to the temple of Sertrine. You explain to a priestess what you want to do and she smiles and says she’s glad you’re making such a commitment to each other.

After a brief but sweet ceremony, you are now married. You have to admit, you never saw this in your future, but it feels right somehow. Your future is now looking a lot brighter as well. You’re finally out from under your parent’s house and have a family of your own to support.

Life is good.

Four years later…

You lie in bed with your wife who is now visibly pregnant with your first child. You look out the window and think about how much your life has changed. You’ve come a long way from your lowly job at the inn where you once had to chase away drunken adventurers and deal with their slurring curses.

Now you’re the drunken adventurer with a loving family. Your days as a mercenary are probably over, but you couldn’t be any happier.

The world might be going to hell, but as long as you’ve got your loved ones by your side, you know you’ll get through it.

Sources & references used in this article:

Trust and betrayal in the workplace: Building effective relationships in your organization by DS Reina – 2009 – books.google.com

Using a metaphor to help couples rebuild trust after an affair by KV Rider – Journal of family psychotherapy, 2011 – Taylor & Francis

Trust and betrayal in the workplace: Building effective relationships in your organization by DS Reina, ML Reina – 2016 – bkconnection.com

Intimacy after infidelity: How to rebuild and affair-proof your marriage by SD Solomon, LJ Teagno – 2006 – books.google.com

Wholeness After Betrayal: Restoring Trust in the Wake of Misconduct by J Greer, MD Rosen – 1998 – Main Street Books

How to repair customer trust after negative publicity: The roles of competence, integrity, benevolence, and forgiveness by R Hammeal-Urban – 2015 – books.google.com

The courage to trust: A guide to building deep and lasting relationships by Y Xie, S Peng – Psychology & Marketing, 2009 – Wiley Online Library