If you feel like everyone hates you, it’s probably because they don’t! If you’re feeling down or depressed, there are many things that can make you feel better. But if someone were to tell you that all these things will only get worse over time (or even permanently), then maybe it would be best not to bother trying anything new. For some people though, their feelings of being hated aren’t just temporary; they’re chronic and long lasting.
You may have heard of the concept of “hate” before. Maybe you’ve even experienced it personally. That’s okay too; sometimes we need reminders that life isn’t always bad.
So here are five reasons why you shouldn’t hate yourself:
1) Hate doesn’t solve problems.
When I was a kid, my mother used to say something along the lines of, “Hate won’t fix anything.” She meant that hating someone won’t bring them back from the dead. And she wasn’t wrong.
But I think her point was more profound than that. Because when you hate somebody, you’re basically saying, “I’m not going to do anything about him/her.” That’s not how we want to live our lives.
We’d rather try to change ourselves so that we can deal with situations differently than those around us. In other words, we want to be proactive rather than reactive. Because that’s the only way we can ever hope to achieve happiness.
2) You might not have control over many things in life, but you do have control over how you react to them.
Here’s a scenario for you: You’re walking down a dark alley and then all of a sudden you get jumped by five guys. They begin kicking you and punching you and taking turns picking the pockets of your trousers.
Now, you could do one of two things: You could either lie there and take it, or you could fight back. If you lie there and take it, well then they’re going to keep hurting you. You probably won’t die from the experience, but you may suffer some severe injuries and end up in a hospital bed.
But say you do decide to fight back. The odds are still against you, but you may very well get an opportunity to escape your attackers. Even if you get hurt along the way, at least you tried to do something about your situation.
The same concept applies to dealing with “hate.” You don’t have to like how people treat you, but there’s no point in just laying down and accepting it. You have more control over your reactions than you think.
3) “Hate” only makes you unhappy.
This should be a no-brainer, but it’s worth noting that hating people and situations isn’t going to make your life any better. It might even make it worse.
As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, one of the best ways to improve ourselves is to learn how to let go of things over which we do not have complete control. What people think of you is definitely in this category.
Sources & references used in this article:
Everyone hates the referee: how fact-checkers mitigate a public perception of bias by A Colburn – 2017 – mospace.umsystem.edu
Mind over mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think by D Greenberger, CA Padesky – 2015 – books.google.com
A lifetime of intimate partner violence: Coping strategies of older women by T Zink, CJ Jacobson Jr, S Pabst… – Journal of …, 2006 – journals.sagepub.com