How Do You Know If You’re Gay, Straight, or Something in Between?
The following article was originally published at: (LINK REMOVED)
If you’ve ever wondered what it means to be gay, then read on!
It’s been said that there are two types of people in the world; those who have never made up their mind and those who always make up their minds. I fall into the latter category. However, I don’t think my indecision is permanent.
My sexual orientation isn’t something that will last forever, but it does change over time.
I grew up in a small town called New Hope, Pennsylvania where everyone knew everyone else’s business and lived together like sardines. There were no homosexuals in our town, so being gay wasn’t even considered an option. I had a very sheltered upbringing and didn’t really experience much homosexual behavior until I went away to college.
When I came back home after my first year of school, I realized that things had changed quite a bit since high school. People started going out more and flirting with each other openly. They even held hands while walking down the street! I noticed these changes, but didn’t think too much of them at the time.
I became interested in one of my roommates, and I started to panic a bit. This was someone I had known for years, and here I was starting to have feelings for him. I had never thought about him in a sexual way before, so I wondered what that meant about me.
Was I gay? Was I bi? Was I going through some sort of phase?
I didn’t know too many homosexuals, so I didn’t have anyone to ask about their sexualities. I just remember being confused and scared about my feelings.
By the time I moved into my second year of college, I had started to learn more about my sexuality and how it related to others. I learned that just because you’re attracted to someone of the same gender, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay. You could also be bisexual.
I was still confused, though. I had an interest in women as well as men, so I wondered if I was bi.
During my second year of college, I had my first real boyfriend. He was a kind soul and very attractive. All of the girls on our hall wanted to date him, but he chose me!
Of course, we dated for only a few months before breaking up, but it was a start. My relationship with my current boyfriend started during my second year of college as well. We’ve been together for two and a half years now, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Even though we argue every once in a while, we still love each other deeply. We have a future together, and that’s what’s most important.
I had an experience similar to Kayla’s. Eventually, I too found out that I was bi. I realized that I was a hopeless romantic and wanted to find “the one.”
Are you still with me?
If so, then you must really care about what I have to say!
I’m going to tell you a little secret: I’m bi. Yes, some of us are pretty girls who date other girls and have a straight boyfriends on the side! It sounds confusing, but it’s really not.
I can love a man and a woman the same way that a man and woman can love each other. My only rule in relationships is to be honest with yourself and your partner(s). If everyone is on the same page then there’s no reason relationships can’t work out.
I’ve dated boys as well as girls. I’ve had threesomes and moresomes. I’ve been in a serious relationship as well as one-night stands.
What I’m saying is there are all types of bisexuals, just like there are all types of homosexuals and heterosexuals. Stop putting us in a box!
Don’t get me wrong – coming out was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but once you get it off your chest, it feels so much better. My family was a little taken back by the news at first, but they still loved and supported me. Once again, my sister was the coolest about it.
She just kept on loving me like she always had.
I hope that your story has a happy ending like mine does. And I promise you, if you’re still struggling with coming out: It. Gets.
P.S. Thanks for reading.
Sources & references used in this article:
A very “gay” straight? Hybrid masculinities, sexual aesthetics, and the changing relationship between masculinity and homophobia by T Bridges – Gender & Society, 2014 – journals.sagepub.com
Between gay and straight: Understanding friendship across sexual orientation by LM Tillmann-Healy – 2001 – books.google.com
Youth empowerment and high school gay-straight alliances by ST Russell, A Muraco, A Subramaniam… – Journal of youth and …, 2009 – Springer
Navigating differences: Friendships between gay and straight men by J Price – 2013 – books.google.com