28 Things to Know Before Your First Time: Lesbian Sexuality
1) You’re not gay if you like girls.
2) You’re not straight if you don’t like guys.
3) You’re not lesbian if you only want one gender or none at all!
4) A lesbian is someone who likes women, but doesn’t necessarily identify as female or male.
5) A dyke is someone who likes men, but doesn’t necessarily identify as male or female.
6) A bisexual is someone who likes both genders, but identifies as something else (e.
g., they are pansexual).
7) Lesbians do not always enjoy vaginal penetration; some prefer other types of sexual activity such as fellatio, cunnilingus, finger-banging and/or strap-on play.
8) Lesbians may or may not be interested in having children.
Some lesbians are childfree while others are open to the idea of becoming parents someday.
9) There’s no right way to be a lesbian, just as there’s no “right” way to be a heterosexual woman, man or anyone else!
10) Lesbians love each other and their partners unconditionally and without conditions.
11) No, lesbians do not hate men. They just are not sexually, emotionally or otherwise interested in dealing with them.
12) A dyke and a tomboy might be emotionally closer than two femmes.
13) A butch and stud might get into a fight over using the word “dyke,” as it has changed meaning over the years.
14) Any lesbian can choose to live and present as masculine or feminine, however she chooses.
15) There are more U.S. women who have had same-gender encounters than there are U.S. men who have.
16) You can like both.
17) A woman who has not yet realized she is a lesbian is called a “straight” or “bi” woman (if she likes men).
18) Some lesbians are very feminine while others prefer a more masculine style.
19) Don’t call anyone a “dyke” unless it is self-identified by that person.
20) The term “dyke” can be used in a positive or negative way.
21) Bisexual women enjoy men and women equally and are not necessarily in transition from one to the other.
22) You don’t have to like everyone.
23) Feminine and masculine are not mutually exclusive.
24) Gay men are usually masculine, but that doesn’t mean all masculine women like men.
25) Men who have met or seen lesbians seem to believe they are all butch.
26) Some lesbians like to wear flannels, metal band t-shirts, boots and other types of clothing deemed “masculine,” while others prefer to wear dresses and skirts.
27) A butch and a femme can still like the same femme.
28) Most lesbians know they are lesbians from childhood, but don’t always come out until later in life.
29) There are masculine women who like other feminine women, and feminine women who like other masculine women.
30) There are also butches who like femmes, and mascs who like other mascs.
31) There are so many possible combinations, it would take a while to list them all.
32) While there are so-called “rules” and guidelines about being a lesbian, none of them are set in stone. All of them can be broken or bent if you feel they shouldn’t apply to you. Think of them more like “guidelines.”
33) Most lesbians are not out to their families.
34) Many lesbians have been disowned by their families.
35) Most lesbians have been harassed or abused.
36) Most lesbians are routinely discriminated against.
37) The word “dyke” has been used as a weapon to hurt and discriminate against lesbians. It has also been used as a term of endearment that lesbians have adopted for themselves.
38) Most lesbians are in committed relationships and don’t sleep around.
39) There are just as many lesbian couples raising families as there are straight ones.
40) If you’re a lesbian, you most likely have already met one and not known it.
41) If you’re straight, there’s about a 50% chance that one of your friends is gay and you don’t know it.
42) Most people on this planet are heterosexual.
43) Most people on this planet have NEVER had a homosexual experience.
44) Most people on this planet are religious.
45) It is completely possible to be a religious person and be a lesbian.
46) It is completely possible to be a religious person and be straight.
47) Religion has been used to justify slavery, the subjugation of women, the denial of rights to people based on gender or sexual orientation, as well as countless other immoralities.
48) Religion does many good things for many good people.
49) Some religions are homophobic.
50) Most religions have lesbian members.
51) Most religions have gay priests, ministers, pastors, reverends, and religious leaders.
52) Most religions have lesbian priests, ministers, pastors, reverends, and religious leaders.
53) Most religions have supported gay people at one time or another in history.
54) Most religions have been against gay people at one time or another in history.
55) Most religions believe they are the only “true” faith and all others are wrong.
56) Some religions accept that there are multiple paths to God and try to tolerate other religions.
Sources & references used in this article:
Do women use dental dams? Safer sex practices of lesbians and other women who have sex with women by J Richters, G Prestage, K Schneider, S Clayton – Sexual health, 2010 – CSIRO
Elusive aetiology of bacterial vaginosis. Do lesbians have a clue? by JM Marrazzo – 2007 – sti.bmj.com
Lesbian “sex.” by M Frye – Lesbian philosophies and cultures, 1990 – books.google.com
Do lesbians get AIDS? Women who have sex with women, HIV/AIDS, and its mental health impact by K Wapenyi – Journal of gay & lesbian mental health, 2010 – Taylor & Francis
III. Lesbians and Safer Sex Practices by D Lampon – Feminism & Psychology, 1995 – journals.sagepub.com
Dangerous assumptions: Lesbians and sexual death by JM Marrazzo – 2005 – journals.lww.com