Drink Beer

Drink Beer?

Here Are the Calorie, Carb, and Protein Counts of America’s 10 Most Popular Brews

The most popular beer in America is not Budweiser or Miller Lite but rather its less familiar cousin: “Beer.”

What does it taste like? How much do they cost? And how many calories are there in one 12 ounce bottle of it?

These questions have been answered on various websites.

But what if I told you that the answers were wrong? That there was another beer out there with far fewer calories than any other?

What would you think of me if I told you that the answer to these questions was none of them?

You might even think I’m lying. But let me assure you, I am telling the truth. There is no such thing as a low calorie beer. Not only are all beers high in calories (and alcohol) but so too are their ingredients!

Here’s the deal: If you want to lose weight, drink water. If you want to gain weight, drink diet soda. If you just don’t care about your bodyweight then drink whatever makes you happy.

But if you want to become a Fatty McFatFat (with a BMI greater than 30) then this post is just for you!

My name is Ben Carver and I am an alcoholic. Today I am going to tell you about my favourite kinds of beer, where I like to drink them, and how many calories are in each kind.

Let’s get started!


Calories: 145

Type: Alcohol

Drink: With hotdogs and hamburgers at the ballgame, or anytime you’re feeling blue. Also great whenever people refer to you as “King”.


Calories: 110

Type: Crap

Drink: Whenever riding in a pick-up truck, or when sitting on the toilet.

Bud Light

Calories: 95

Type: Water

Drink: Whenever you need to wash down dangerous pills that were left in the bottom of a bottle that needs to be finished.

Coors Light

Calories: 95

Type: Water

Drink: Whenever you want to impress people at a chili cook-off, or when dancing at a Texas cowboy bar.

Miller Lite

Calories: 96

Type: Water

Drink: Whenever you need to show people that you’re a “lightweight”, or whenever you need to wash down a medium-sized fish.

Do you know of any other beers that I missed? Perhaps ones that are lower or higher in calories?

Let me know in the comments below!

Sources & references used in this article:

Did ancient greeks drink beer? by M Nelson – Phoenix, 2014 – JSTOR

Fermenting revolution: How to drink beer and save the world by C O’Brien – 2011 – books.google.com

Drink beer for science: An experiment on consumer preferences for local craft beer by J Hart – Journal of Wine Economics, 2018 – cambridge.org

Mortality associated with moderate intakes of wine, beer, or spirits by M Gronbaek, A Deis, TIA Sorensen, U Becker… – Bmj, 1995 – bmj.com

Frogs Sell Beer: The Effects of Beer Advertisements on Adolescent Drinking Knowledge, Attitudes, and Behavior. by DA Gentile, DA Walsh, BW Bloomgren Jr, JA Atti… – 2001 – ERIC

Nutritional aspects of beer—a review by CW Bamforth – Nutrition research, 2002 – Elsevier

Effects of a common worldwide drink (Beer) on L-Phenylalanine and L-Tyrosine fibrillar assemblies by D Banik, P Banerjee, G Sabeehuddin, N Sarkar – Chemical Physics Letters, 2017 – Elsevier

“Drink Beer Regularly–It’s Good For You [And Us]”: Selling Tooth’s Beer In A Depressed Market by R Crawford – The social history of alcohol and drugs, 2007 – journals.uchicago.edu

A drink is a drink? Variation in the amount of alcohol contained in beer, wine and spirits drinks in a US methodological sample by WC Kerr, TK Greenfield, J Tujague… – Alcoholism: Clinical …, 2005 – Wiley Online Library