Does Anal Hurt?
What to Know for Your First Time:
The first time you buttfucking hurts is not something that happens everytime. You might get used to it or even enjoy it but eventually it will start hurting again. There are several reasons why buttfucking hurts and they all have their own causes. Let’s see which one is the most likely one and then we’ll try to figure out how to avoid getting it again.
Your Butt Is Too Big For Your Body:
You’re probably too big for your body when you first buttfucker. If so, you need to lose weight before trying buttfucking again. You could try some exercises like running or swimming that would make your body smaller and lighter. Also, you could take a shower with soap and water and wash off any excess fat from your body before attempting to buttfuck again.
It Might Be A Cold:
If you’ve been sick recently, then you might have a cold. When you get sick, your body temperature drops and that means that when you come back from the toilet, your butt may hurt even worse than usual. Soaking yourself in warm water for at least five minutes can help cure a cold.
You Also Might Be A Dumb-Dumb:
If you’re a dumb-dumb you will feel pain whenever you try something new. If this is the case, then no matter what you do, everything will hurt so just try to be less of a dumb-dumb and see if that helps. It probably won’t because being a dumb-dumb is incurable.
Now that we got the most common reasons why buttfucking hurts out of the way, let’s see how you can actually fix the problem. There are several ways to do this such as taking some meds, rubbing some ointments or just plain old waiting it out. Let’s talk about each one below:
Ointments And Painkillers:
There are several types of ointments and painkillers that you can find at your local drug store. They usually work pretty well and can be found over-the-counter. You might want to try some if you’re not a big fan of waiting it out or you just can’t seem to get rid of the pain no matter what you do.
Wait It Out:
Probably the simplest way to fix buttfucking pains is to wait it out. Your butt might hurt for several hours or even several days. If you’re reading this, then it’s probably been several months since your first time has passed so you should be buttfucking just fine now. It could be worse so try not to complain.
As you can see there are several ways to deal with butt pain so it is important that you learn to identify the problem and find a suitable way to deal with it. If you’ve done everything you can and the pain is still there then you might need to see a doctor. No point in suffering if you don’t have to.
While we’re on the subject of butts, let’s talk about your butt. You probably know that your butt is one of the most important parts of your body and you should take good care of it. This starts with eating a healthy diet, brushing your teeth every day and washing your butt on a regular basis. While you’re buttfucking, it also means that you should be cleaning your butt on a regular basis too because butts get dirty.
Now this may sound weird but you should start by washing your hands before and after you go to the toilet. This will avoid any butt bacteria from getting into your body and causing a mess later on. Now when I say “washing your hands”, I don’t mean you should start singing the “Happy Birthday” song while you pour a bottle of liquid soap into your hands and lather it up real good. I mean you should just wet your hands, clean them with some soap, rinse them off and then dry them off with some paper towel.
After you do that, you should go number two and make sure to wipe from front to back when you’re done wiping. This avoids spreading butt bacteria everywhere which can lead to all sorts of problems. After you wipe, you should wash your hands again just to be safe. Then after you’ve washed your hands, you should wipe your butt at least 2 more times to make sure everything is cleaned out properly.
If you can’t reach your butt to wipe it yourself, then you should get some assistance from someone who loves and cares about you.
Butt cleaning can be a very intimate act so you may want to only do it if you’re in a relationship and have that other person’s consent. If you don’t know how to approach this subject with the other person, use “The Robot Method” as explained in the next chapter.
Before we move on to the next section, let’s do a quick recap of what you’ve learned so far:
-All your base are belong to us.
-Buttfucking can be fun.
-Butt cleaning is important.
-You should eat more fiber.
-It’s important to stay hydrated.
-You should always wipe front to back.
-The song “Good Vibrations” is now in your head and you can’t get it out. Sorry.
Relationships and You
A very important aspect of your life is your relationships with the people around you. Most of the time, these are one on one relationships (or one on a few) such as a relationship between you and your mom, you and your father, you and your dog (if you have one), or you and your crush. These relationships can be complicated and they can be simple. The more complicated ones often involve feelings, which as you may have heard can be very volatile and irrational at times.
Feelings are weird.
They make you want to do crazy things like, hug the person you have them for, yell at them, or even break up with them if things get really bad. This is all normal behavior in a relationship. Every relationship is a gamble and you just have to hope that over time, things will get better between the both of you.
This guide can’t really tell you how to manage your feelings or the feelings of the people you’re involved in a relationship with because it’s all about what YOU want to do. This guide can only give you the information and the tools to make your own decisions. With that said, here are some tips for you…
-If you’re in a relationship, it’s best that you don’t talk to other people. If both of you are talking to other people at the same time, then you’re officially call it “being in an open relationship”. Some people are okay with this kind of arrangement, some aren’t. Only you can decide if this is something you’re okay with or not.
-You don’t need to have a relationship at all to know that you’re alive. If you’re happy with yourself and what you’re doing in your life, then that’s all that matters.
-A relationship should be fun. If it stops being fun, then you probably need to either adjust something or end it completely. There’s no point in forcing yourself to stay in a relationship if you don’t want to be in it anymore.
-If you do decide to end a relationship, it’s probably best to just cut off all contact and not engage in any sort of “we should talk this out” or “let’s stay friends” conversations. Just get out completely. Move on and know that your life is better without this person in it.
Now that we got the serious stuff out of the way, let’s have some fun with this…
Have you ever been in a relationship? If so, was it a good one? What kind of stuff did you and your significant other do together?
Tell me about it.
Did you ever have a crush on a teacher when you were in school?
Tell me all about it. I won’t judge.
If you could go back in time and kill someone you had a crush on as a kid, would you do it? Would killing them before they met you somehow prevent you from ever existing?
Tell me about a good friend you once had.
What was their name? What made you guys so close? Why aren’t you friends with them anymore? Did one of you move away or something?
You’re trapped in a cabin in the woods and a grizzly bear has suddenly attacked. You have a rifle with one bullet that can kill the beast, but there’s three of you inside the cabin.
Who are the other two? Why does the grizzly bear want to kill you? What must you do to survive?
You’re standing at the edge of a bridge. On the other side is your enemy. Your nemesis. The one who has been chasing you for years and now finally has you cornered.
Do you jump off the bridge and try to attack them or do you stand your ground and fight them like a man? What would they do in this situation?
You’re in a museum looking at an exhibit of old world famous paintings. Suddenly, you begin to feel as if you’re actually in the paintings themselves. One of them makes you feel hopeful. One of them makes you feel peaceful. One of them makes you feel enraged.
Which one makes you feel which way?
You’ve somehow been thrown into the story of a popular TV show, but you have no idea what your mission there is. All you have to go on is what the narrator speaks to you.
Who is the narrator and what is your mission?
It’s your last night in the old country before you move to the new world across the ocean. You’re at a friends house having a party, there’s music and food and lots of dancing. As the night goes on you begin to dance with a girl you’ve had a crush on for some time but have never gotten up the nerve to speak to. Suddenly, while the two of you are dancing the floor collapses and the two of you fall through into a dungeon filled with savage looking orcs.
Why were you saved from a terrible fall? Who set up the falling floor in the first place? What do the orcs plan to do with you?
You’ve been sentenced to death. As you walk down the hall to your execution you come to a door. It’s your last chance for redemption. Behind the door is something that could help you, if you can somehow get it before they execute you.
What’s behind the door? Why is it there? Do you try to get in or do you march resolutely to your doom?
You’re sitting at the counter of your favorite diner, minding your own business. Suddenly, a large gang of rowdy bikers enter the place. They’ve spotted you and are planning on picking you out as their victim for the evening. They’re big, they’re mean and there’s 15 of them. You’re not going to be able to fight them all. But the counter seems to have morphed into a jet ski, which if you can somehow get working, can get you out of here fast.
How do you convince the bikers that the jet ski is broken so you can make your escape?
It’s the lottery and you’ve just won! Unfortunately, so have the people around you. Now everyone around you wants to kill you and take your money. You need to get out of here but all the exits are blocked by people wanting your blood.
Sources & references used in this article:
Women’s experiences with anal sex: motivations and implications for STD prevention by E Maynard, A Carballo‐Diéguez… – … on Sexual and …, 2009 – Wiley Online Library
“What if you already know everything about sex?” Content analysis of questions from early adolescents in a middle school sex education program by L Charmaraman, AJ Lee, S Erkut – Journal of Adolescent Health, 2012 – Elsevier
“It’s Time to Ease Your Fears—and Your Sphincter”: Gender and Power in Contemporary Media Discourses of Heterosexual Anal Sex by MJ Faustino – Gender Issues, 2020 – Springer