Jealousy is a natural emotion that many people experience when they are faced with something new or different. Some people may even feel jealous when someone else seems to have it worse than them. However, some people do not like their pasts to be talked about and will try to hide them from others, while other people cannot control what happens in their past and would rather see it all out in the open.
In any case, if your partner is one of those people who hides things from you, then there is nothing wrong with telling him/her directly. If they don’t want to hear it, then they shouldn’t have told you in the first place!
However, if your partner is one of those people who likes talking about his/her past, then you might need to get over it. You’re going to have to learn how to live with it yourself. That means accepting that your partner is probably going to be more honest with you than anyone else ever was and dealing with whatever comes up naturally in the future.
Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds. You’ll get used to it.
One of the most important things to remember if you start thinking negative thoughts about your partner’s past is to just let them go rather than dwell on them. If you’re going to be with someone then they are ultimately going to have a past and, in fact, you’re going to too! If you really think about it, everyone does! It’s normal!
Eventually, if you really want to get your head out of the gutter, then you’ll need to just accept that everyone is a sexual being and was once young too. As long as your minds stay the same as they are now, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t be able to live happily without thinking about it again. Live and let live!
Of course, if it comes up in conversation then have at it! But try not to force it if the topic dies down. Let it rest in peace!
Tip: If you do happen to bring up your partner’s past, then make sure that you really want to hear all of the details. Your partner may be very willing to give them to you in great detail!
One last bit of advice for those who wonder how they can stop thinking about their partner’s past. Get a life! Don’t think about it as much. Just accept it and move on with your life.
You’ll be fine.
Above you can read an article about Dealing with Jealousy About Your Partner’s Past. Hopefully you found it helpful and understandable. If you have any questions, feel free to contact us for one on one online counseling.
Sources & references used in this article:
Jealousy in sexually open marriages by B Buunk – Alternative Lifestyles, 1981 – Springer
Past victim, future victim? by C Anderson – Nursing Management, 2002 – journals.lww.com
Disarming jealousy in couples relationships: A multidimensional approach by M Scheinkman, D Werneck – Family process, 2010 – Wiley Online Library