1. There are many reasons why people have revenge on their exes.
Some of them include:
A) They feel hurt or betrayed by the other person.
B) They want to punish the other person for something they did wrong.
C) They just don’t like the other person anymore and want to make up with them.
2. Revenge is not always bad.
Sometimes it’s necessary to get back at someone. If you think about it, if your ex had done something really bad to you, then maybe you would’ve been justified in getting revenge on him/her. However, sometimes revenge isn’t necessarily good. Here are some examples of situations where revenge might be considered “bad”:
3. Revenge can lead to violence against the other person.
While this is definitely an over-reaction in most circumstances, it isn’t always. For example, if your ex was beating you up or threatening you with a weapon, then getting revenge by returning the favor might be necessary for survival.
4. Revenge can lead to retaliation.
Getting revenge on someone probably means you’re at odds with them for something. If they get revenge back on you, then the whole situation just escalates and can continue.
5. Revenge can get you in trouble with the law.
If you do something that’s considered “illegal”, such as killing someone, this could get you a lot of trouble. Because the government takes revenge very seriously, they will punish you for your actions.
6. Revenge can cause psychological problems such as depression or anger issues.
If you have too much on your mind, you might not be able to focus on your daily tasks.
7. Revenge can create a vicious cycle.
If you get back at someone for getting revenge on you, then the other person will return the favor again… and so on. This could lead to an ongoing conflict that ends badly for everyone involved.
8. Revenge is pointless if there’s nothing really important at stake.
If you think about it, a lot of revenge is caused by silly reasons. If the other person hadn’t done anything that “hurt” you, then it wouldn’t be an issue.
9. Revenge doesn’t solve anything.
It just prolongs the conflict and can lead to other serious issues. It might make you feel better for a little while, but it won’t fix the problem in the long-run.
Tips for dealing with revenge:
1. If someone tries to get revenge on you, don’t escalate the situation.
Stay calm, don’t say anything you’ll regret later, and walk away if you have to. The more attention you draw to the conflict, the worse things will be.
2. Be a bigger person.
Letting go of grudges and ignoring others who try to start something with you is usually the best approach. Unless the other person has wronged you in a serious way, then it’s best to just move on and forget about it.
3. If someone gets revenge on you first, don’t respond with more revenge.
4. If someone gets revenge on you first, try to talk it out with them.
If all else fails, then reciprocating is sometimes the only option left. However, before doing so, try to settle the fight peacefully with conversation first.
5. If someone is trying to get revenge on you, then the best thing you can do is avoid them entirely.
Take precautions by not saying anything that would harm you or your friends/allies and try to fly under the radar. Ignoring a potential enemy is sometimes the best way to handle them.
How to Deal With The Emotion of Revenge:
1. Forgive them.
Even if the person who harmed you doesn’t deserve it, you’re better than letting something like this get in the way of your own happiness.
2. Don’t forgive them, but don’t let it affect your life anymore.
Carry the hate around if you’d like, but never let it influence important decisions in your life.
3. Try to make things right by making amends with anyone you’ve ever harmed or had a conflict with.
4. Try to make things right by apologizing and asking if there is anything you can do to make it up to them.
5. Some people will never forgive you, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on making amends with them.
Never gloat about your success or make them feel worse about themselves. Just try to improve yourself as a person and move on with your life.
6. Give them what they want, if it’s something reasonable, and hope that they will see that revenge isn’t worth their time or energy.
Sources & references used in this article:
Sex, love, revenge, and murder in” Away Down in Jamaica”: a lost short story by Sui Sin Far (Edith Eaton) by MJ Cutter – legacy, 2004 – muse.jhu.edu
Dismantling ‘You get what you deserve’: Towards a feminist sociology of revenge porn by E Eikren – 2016 – awdflibrary.org
Gender, Genre and Female Pleasure in the Contemporary Revenge Narrative: Baise moi and What It Feels Like For A Girl by CM Meston, DM Buss – 2009 – Macmillan
Dorotea’s Revenge: Sex and Speech Acts in Don Quijote, Part 1. by J Franco – Quarterly Review of Film and Video, 2003 – Taylor & Francis